Tim Hughes wrote a song in 2001 called, “Here I Am To Worship” (c) 2001 Thankyou Music. One line from this song has stood prominently in my mind in recent days. It reads: “I’ll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.”
I wonder how often we think about how much our sin costs.
We can usually connect with how much our sin costs us personally. We are aware of the personal consequences, the personal losses and grief over our sinful choices, because they are ours to experience. We may not always realize it right away, but eventually, sin will send a bill and we’ll have to pay up.
Sin is costly and it will always be more than we want to pay. If we could only realize the price *before* we make some of the choices we make, perhaps we would be more careful with our choices.
Beyond what our sin costs us personally, however, the bill for our choices not only gets sent to us, it gets sent to everyone who is affected by our sin. Nothing we do is completely contained to us. Our choices affect others.
Think about the unprecedented oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Something went dreadfully wrong. Who is to blame is irrelevant. The point is that whoever is in the wrong does not stand alone to pay for the spill, the bill extends to everyone involved in the clean up, the effort to cap it, the fishermen who are out of work, the wildlife, the tourists, the vendors, and the list goes on and on. Everyone affected by the spill is paying dearly for the mistakes and/or choices of a handful of people involved in the actual event that started the whole thing.
Everyone makes messes. No one is exempt from the tendency to sin. There are no perfect people, but anyone who carries the responsibility of being a leader has the potential to make epic messes because the impact of sin carries repercussions to everyone over whom they lead.
How much more our responsibility as worship leaders, those called to lead the body of Christ into His holy presence every week? I don’t think we really get that. We often go on about our day to day life without giving our calling the honor and respect that it deserves, even more so, that it demands.
This fact alone should give us all a reality check to look deep within and to surrender every hidden place to Jesus, to pursue holiness, to seek to live fully integrated lives where who we are on the inside lines up with who we portray ourselves to be when we step onto a stage and lead worship.
Our calling cannot be a game we play or an ego itch we scratch, our calling requires pursuing holiness in the secret places, walking in authenticity and integrity. Are we living lives as leaders that our congregations can trust? Are we giving them the safety they need? It’s not about being perfect, because we will never be. It is about being humble before God, falling on His mercy every day and setting our faces like flint toward Him in the passionate pursuit of His character, His nature and His presence.
We may never know how much it cost to see our sin upon that cross, but perhaps we could give it a little more thought as we live our lives before Him and those we have both the privilege and responsibility of serving with our leadership.
